Gary's blog for couples and parents plus resources for individuals, leaders and churches.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Be Honest About Your Pain

This week I experienced my first ear infection in say twenty-five years. The inside of my ear would simply start throbbing and the pain was awful. But I knew that in a couple of days I was also going to get on an airplane and fly 11-12 hours overseas. Not a good time to have ear problems.

So I did the manly thing and downed a couple of margaritas.  No, I actually went to my doctor and he quickly diagnosed the situation and prescribed some medication. We all have pain at times and most of us don't try to play through it, especially the emotional kind. However, many of us attempt to dull or cover it instead of handle it in mature, healthy ways.

Some common painkillers?  Silence, addictions, blaming others, working harder, spending, becoming more religious, serving more at church, sex . . . .  The list is long.  Now don't get me wrong - trying to reduce our pain, whether it's a headache or from the loss of a loved one, is normal and understandable.  But we have to learn to seek out appropriate painkillers, not illicit ones.

And appropriate honesty is the best place to start especially in your home. When you're hurting because you lost your job, it's important to talk with your spouse about what's going on inside of the two of you as a result of your financial struggles. Instead people often go to one of two extremes.  They either don't talk about it or get so angry and irritated that they begin to hurt others they love or demand even more from them.

And if the two of you don't have much in your emotional tanks to help each other then go and get some outside help from a counselor, pastor or friend. But whatever you do don't just dull the hurt. And avoid the subtle painkillers like working harder or serving more. Working and serving are wonderful but not when they're just a way to avoid the real issues.

Like the prescription I received from my doctor, sometimes we need the healing words of God Himself and of others God has placed in our lives.  Don't face your pain alone. Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."  Let words of truth be spoken into your pain.  But you'll have to be honest about it!
Gary Sinclair Writer | Speaker | Leader

Gary is currently a consultant, teacher, speaker and chaplain providing resources for families, leaders and churches.

1 comment:

  1. Amen. We can't experience healing when we deny or mask our pain. One reason prayer sometimes does not work for us is because we won't even be honest with God about where we hurt.