However, the teenage years are an important time for parents to stay very intentional and involved in the ongoing training, development and maturity of their kids who will soon leave their home for good.
While there were challenges of course, we found our kids' teen experiences to be fertile ground for them to still learn important lessons about life that they would use for decades to come. Let me suggest five key goals for parents to have in their plan for adolescent training.
1. Teach them to communicate with adults. Teenagers of course interact with adults in a variety of ways in everyday life but there will be more important opportunities to come. They will need to sit in interviews with colleges and employers, communicate with bosses, neighbors and local merchants. I've met too many teens whose vocabulary with me consisted largely of, "Yeah," "sure," and "okay." That won't cut it in life.
2. Teach them to make their faith their own. Many teenagers still believe in God, the Bible, salvation in Jesus and the like but have never determined for themselves "why?" Therefore, they lack the ability to also think according to Scripture and logically. Parents can help by initiating discussions and interactions about spiritual issues, tough questions and the validity/reliability of the Bible. Let them question without being criticized.
3. Teach them practical living skills. Both boys and girls need to learn to wash clothes, basic foods and pay bills. Other chores can be added depending upon your household. Of course, aptitude will impact just which skills go to a higher level. I have never been good at fix-it kinds of things so more training would have only moved me up a slight amount in my ability. Nonetheless, there were other things I was required to do that I still do today.
4. Teach them to show respect, kindness and humility. We live more and more in a me, myself and mine culture so our kids are being programmed to have much of life about them. Give them opportunities to serve others, speak graciously and be polite.
5. Teach them to work hard. The best way is to model it but make sure they get regular opportunities to work both at home and in the workplace. Expect them to do their best and not settle for average. Encourage them to serve others through mission work and or acts of kindness.
Seeing our adolescents succeed in these areas may seem small but the dividends will be huge and you'll have teens who stand out from the crowd!