Gary's blog for couples and parents plus resources for individuals, leaders and churches.

Monday, January 31, 2011

How Many I LOVE YOU's Are Too Many?


This past weekend I heard a dear missionary couple tell the story of how they recently lost their sweet daughter in her 20's to ovarian cancer.  And the same night a network television program focused on how another family's teenage daughter died in a car accident because she was texting and driving.

Oh, how I pray that no one else reading this post would ever face those kinds of tragedies, including me! But it happens, doesn't it?  Kids die young, brothers and sisters can be fine one day and gone the next. Parents who have been there for us all our lives can be suddenly separated from this world. Spouses are spending life with us each day and then one of us is taken.

I, like you, would rather not think about it and perhaps even this discussion may seem a bit morbid.  And of course, other than teach our kids to make wiser decisions, perhaps take care of ourselves a bit better and be more careful in general, there's a lot we simply cannot control.  But we dare not just live in denial and think that it never could happen to us.

Are there at least a few things we could do be more intentional about as we live in a world of evil, hurt, pain, death and the unknown much of the time?  Can we prepare at all for the possibility that someone in our world may be gone way before we ever expected them to leave us?

I think so.  First, say I love you  a lot.  Yes, it can become a little trite, repetitive and may appear not to have much meaning at times, but say it anyway.  I want my family members and others close to me to have heard it so much that there's no doubt in their minds, no matter what happens or who leaves first, that my love was as strong as it could ever be for them.

Write it down, say it in cards, speak it.  Words are powerful and that little three-word phrase packs a wallop.  Every person in this world longs to hear those words.  Say it often and like you mean it.

Second, make memories now.  I speak about this often in other posts so I'll be brief here. Don't wait until someday to do those special things together with your kids. Don't just sit in the stands or auditorium and watch them perform.  Find things to do WITH them now that they'll remember forever.  How many people do you know who have said something like, "I only wish we had . . . " and then the person those words were about was gone?  Too many.

Third, pray like crazy for those close to you.  And tell them you're doing so.  Pray of course for their safety.  But also pray that their lives will make a difference for eternity no matter how long they're here on earth.  In fact, pray with them sometimes.  Prayer has a special way of communication your love and passion for them.

Finally, keep short accounts.  Don't hold grudges, deal with tensions or issues that aren't resolved.  Try to make amends for things you've done to them and/or lovingly share ways they may have hurt you. Be humble, swallow your pride, and do whatever you can to restore the relationship. You don't want to look back someday and not have the opportunity to make a wrong a right and be able to embrace and express your true love one more time.

Psalms says that our days are numbered and that only God knows how many we have.  Make the most of them . . . and say I love you another time or two today.
Gary Sinclair Writer | Speaker | Leader

Gary is currently a consultant, teacher, speaker and chaplain providing resources for families, leaders and churches.

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