Gary's blog for couples and parents plus resources for individuals, leaders and churches.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Marriage Energizers: Some of the Fun Is In The Planning

We've all had the experience of picking up our camera, looking at our watch or grabbing a needed flashlight during a blackout only to discover that the batteries were gone or failing, right?  And then we usually discover that we don't actually have a replacement anyway. Irritating to say the least.

In the same way married people can have their emotional, physical and spiritual batteries worn down as well and periodically we need to recharge them.  How?  By doing things together that allow us and our spouse to spend time together, relax, think about things out of the ordinary and slow down.

The specific activities will of course depend upon the couple so let me simply offer a few basic helps and guidelines.  First, find some things you can do together and places you can go on a fairly regular basis. We like to hike so we've found several books that show us trail options all around central Texas where we live. We read up on the possibilities and then talk about which ones might work best on a given day off.  We generally take a day off every week but the important thing is that we do something like this together on a frequent basis.

When the weather is too hot or too cold, we find other options but we still do something.  And half the fun is in the planning!

Second, dream about and start working on a bigger getaway at least once or twice a year.  Bigger might be just a weekend or it could be a longer vacation.  Bigger might involve going far away or just close to home.  Nonetheless, let it be something that you wouldn't just do on a whim. Make it a next tier event that offers a little more time together and a little more commitment. And remember, half the fun is in the planning.

Third, build some milestone events into your marriage.  Yes, special anniversaries can provide a great incentive but you decide what works for you. And when it comes to planning these are the most fun of all. You can start looking online, at brochures or talking to people about ideas months, even years in advance.  The two of you will actually find that anticipating the trip is really exciting and it gives you something special to look forward to even while you're facing the challenges of every day.

We've been planning a special anniversary trip to Alaska and we're just months away from leaving.  We can't wait but even now we watch specials on TV about Alaska, bought new boots and are trying to figure out what clothes we need for the cruise part. The trip will be great but planning has truly been half the fun.  It's these kinds of energy building events in our marriage that help keep us filled up, connected and able to face the bigger challenges when they come.

How are your marriage batteries?  Don't wake up one day to find out that all of a sudden there's not much charge left. Get your battery chargers out . . . because . . . half the fun is . . . . Well, you know.
Gary Sinclair Writer | Speaker | Leader

Gary is currently a consultant, teacher, speaker and chaplain providing resources for families, leaders and churches.


  1. Except what happens when your spouse hates planning and would actually rather wait until the very last minute to decide what to do? And you would rather plan it out because you are more like this article?

  2. Krista,

    Apparently I missed your comments from months ago and apologize for just seeing them now. People are different and that doesn't mean that one won't take more of the lead. However, you might start with some simple choices or saying something like, "Hey, we both like vacations. What if I found three options that look good. Would you help me sift through those three and figure out what works best. You're better at thinking through all the finances and details (or whatever)."