Gary's blog for couples and parents plus resources for individuals, leaders and churches.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Nobody Wants To Have The Sex Talk, Right?

OK, so we know it's coming but we really hope we can just skip it. Why can't our kids just stay little, innocent and without any urges? Why do we have to talk with our kids about sex when it just makes us red-faced, nervous and nauseous while we're pretty sure they're just as panicked.

Well, first consider the alternatives. They can just learn all their information on their own.  You know, get a healthy view of sexuality from TV, movies and their friends. Not likely. I have two words that should make you think twice about that . . . Charlie Sheen.

Or you can hand them a book and hope they will read it and understand it all.  And yes, they will probably devour that book, maybe even read it several times, but at some point their going to say . . . "What?  Are you kidding me? I thought . . . "  Don't they deserve a little more explanation?

So, while it's a challenge to broach this important subject there is something important and fulfilling about knowing you were likely the most influential person in helping your child understand the facts of life.  And it's important that you start fairly soon.

When?  I would suggest no later than ten or so depending upon your child of course.  But at ten they're starting to wonder and in this culture they are hearing things in school, on the street and of course through the media.  So it's better to risk being early than too late.

Since we had a boy and a girl, my wife and I each took part of a weekend away, her with our daughter and me with our son, and combined both fun and sex ed together.  We used one of a number of excellent sets of recorded talks out there that hit the basics of maturing, adolescence and of course sex.  They were designed to lead to questions and discussion ideas for the two of us to talk about.

It was nice having someone else get the process going rather than just dig in on our own.  We spread out the discussions over a couple of days of shopping, fun activities, swimming at the hotel and the like.  You can then follow up later with other materials that will help them as they mature more.

So is it time for you to set up a weekend or at least get the process started.  Do it whatever way you choose but go for it.  You'll help your kids know what it means to be human and they'll also see a little more humanity in you.  Remember, God made sex so help your kids see it as something special He made for us all to enjoy.
Gary Sinclair Writer | Speaker | Leader

Gary is currently a consultant, teacher, speaker and chaplain providing resources for families, leaders and churches.

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