YOLO . . . A Hidden Danger In Your Family

I'm sure you've at least heard about it if not having had it already impact your home. It's a current slang acrostic that unfortunately is leading many young people to do things almost unimagineable to many. And sadly, many of their parents, perhaps you, are looking the other way or saying to themselves, "Yep, that's not that big of a deal."

What is it?  It's something called YOLO. It's an acrostic that stands for , You only live once. 

Now on the one hand that little phrase could be an inspiring and positive one. But usually it or ones like it have been give a quite different application. Most have meant something more like this: You only have one life to live so make the most of it. It has challenged people to serve God, not get caught up in things that don't matter and use one's gifts and talents for the eternal more than the temporary.

Today, however, YOLO has become the mantra for: do anything, even if its risky, because you'll never get another chance. Unfortunately, anything has led to young kids having sex, sending suggestive, even nude, pictures to each other, more drinking binges, bullying and scores of other dangerous actions toward themselves or others. It has become the free pass to lower one's standards, not take the high road.

Granted, some would say that much of this has been going on for centuries in some form or another. And they would be right. But first, does that make it OK?  And second, are we going to accept this behavior happening in upper elementary school and middle school now?  And third, do we care that more and more parents who call themselves Christians are also looking the other way and making excuses for their children? The results of YOLO today are kids ruining their lives and reputations and in some cases going to jail or juvenile detention centers.

The idea of morality and character no matter what have dwindled to dangerously low priorities for even homes where families at least say that God matters in their homes.

But wise parents will stop and ask, What must we do in our home at least to avoid a YOLO mentality?

First, we must open our eyes. This is probably happening in your child's school - today, this year, right now. Find out what you can and help your kids to navigate the challenges it brings. Start with them as young as possible where appropriate. Talk about it. Monitor their phone and computer usage. Check out parties and sleepovers before you let them attend.

Second, teach your kids a better way. Explain why they are not missing out when they don't jump on the social bandwagon to do the same things others do. Give them responses to use that will keep them loving, able to still be friends with many kids and yet able to say "no."

Third, model a Christ-like lifestyle. Make serving and helping others the norm. Be sure that your kids aren't just getting huge doses of the world's thinking that everything is alright, that marriage and healthy relationships are a thing of the past and that getting more and looking better are the answer to everything. Take your learning from church, Bible study and other godly input and help your kids apply it to life.  Look at your own life, too, and ask, "What am I modeling for my kids that may be helping them think and act the way they do?"

We really do only live once. But let's help our kids to make the most of that life, not the least.

When and Why Do Our Heroes Fall?

Well, it looks like Lance Armstrong's explanations have run out. He appears to be guilty of doping during the years he was winning cycling's greatest race. A lot of us have been let down again, haven't we? I used to live in Austin, Texas, Lance's hometown. Ugh.

And while many will still support him and others will want him crucified, I plan to do neither. But it is worth a look at why our heroes fall so much of the time and how we should respond. What can we learn that puts it all into perspective and reminds us of what is really true?

I mean how many times will we have to sigh huge sighs when another Tiger or U.S. senator or famous minister or movie star takes a personal or moral dive? Probably lots because it will happen again and again. So we need to re-think some things about what a hero really is and the kind of role they should or should not play in our lives.

First of all, there is a place for heroes. They are good to have as long as we don't worship them. Heroes can give us healthy role models to emulate, standards to aspire to and the inspiration to work harder at what we want to accomplish.

But second, we have forgotten that heroes are human just like us. While many of them truly do amazing things and accomplish feats few will copy, they still mess up. They lie, cheat and even steal sometimes. They never were what we probably believed them to be: superhuman? invincible? perfect?  No, their humanity doesn't excuse their often pitiful behavior, but it shouldn't surprise us.  It wouldn't shock us if we initially assumed that they were just everyday people who just happened to be very disciplined and accomplished.

Third, popularity and fame are dangerous entities and the human tendency is to hold on to them no matter the cost. Once the seduction of being sought after, winning all the time and enjoying the myriad perks takes hold, it's difficult to admit anything that could force someone to let go of it all. It seems like Lance finally tired of the charade. Most people just eventually get caught in the act and have no choice. Either way it's ultimately better but there is always a fight and there are always consequences.

Fourth, we need to find and recognize better heroes. And the good news is that they are all around us. They are parents who love their kids even when times are tough, they are service men and women along with police and firefighters who protect us. They include people with disabilities and other challenges who persevere and live meaningful lives anyway. They are giving men and women who serve others in soup kitchens, ministries, churches and agencies out of love for their God and others.

Yes, while there will be others who we've deemed as heroes who will fall, we will be less disappointed if we remember that the ones typically given the title of hero are not. Most of the real heroes will never be famous or rich or write a book, star on TV or play in the Super Bowl. But once we find those genuine heroes, they will change us and be less likely to ever let us down.

When Right Loses Out to Reputation

I'm sure thousands of articles and blog posts have been or will be written about the terrible revelations of child abuse at Penn State. And unless we're experts in the law or know facts that the general public doesn't know none of us writers should be making judgments about motives, actions and intentions that we can't possibly know about for sure.

However, there seems to be one thing that is pretty clear in all of this.  And sadly it's probably true in many other offices, homes, and universities. People often don't do the RIGHT thing because they are more worried about their reputation. Or put another way, they don't do the hard thing because they don't want to look bad, it's painful or they might get rejected by someone.

Unfortunately, we all have this tendency. Some of us just take it to greater extremes than others. The sad part in the Penn State case is that the result of not doing the right thing is that a number of young children have been irreparably hurt. Yes, they can heal and hopefully by now have been able to move on as young adults but they lost something that can never be returned. They have memories that will not be erased.

Much of that could have been prevented if a few people would have just done the right thing.

So we'll have to let the authorities and other officials determine how the Penn State situation plays out. However, we can certainly look at ourselves and ask if there are corners we are cutting, things we're avoiding or actions we're taking that we are unwilling to expose because our reputation might be on the line.

Who's going to be hurt if we keep doing what we're doing or are not willing to take the high road?

So let me suggest a couple of ideas for anyone at a crossroads of right versus wrong. First, tell someone you trust. You don't need to tell the whole world, but tell someone. Let them help you take the next steps or keep you accountable. Second, if you know something as serious as the Penn State allegations, talk to the police. Don't wait one more minute.  

Third, if you personally need forgiveness, talk to a counselor who can tell you about God's love for you and walk you through finding His forgiveness. There is nothing He can't or won't forgive. We just have to be willing to ask.


Knowing the right thing is one thing. Doing the right thing is everything. Do it now.

Nobody Wants To Have The Sex Talk, Right?

OK, so we know it's coming but we really hope we can just skip it. Why can't our kids just stay little, innocent and without any urges? Why do we have to talk with our kids about sex when it just makes us red-faced, nervous and nauseous while we're pretty sure they're just as panicked.

Well, first consider the alternatives. They can just learn all their information on their own.  You know, get a healthy view of sexuality from TV, movies and their friends. Not likely. I have two words that should make you think twice about that . . . Charlie Sheen.

Or you can hand them a book and hope they will read it and understand it all.  And yes, they will probably devour that book, maybe even read it several times, but at some point their going to say . . . "What?  Are you kidding me? I thought . . . "  Don't they deserve a little more explanation?

So, while it's a challenge to broach this important subject there is something important and fulfilling about knowing you were likely the most influential person in helping your child understand the facts of life.  And it's important that you start fairly soon.

When?  I would suggest no later than ten or so depending upon your child of course.  But at ten they're starting to wonder and in this culture they are hearing things in school, on the street and of course through the media.  So it's better to risk being early than too late.

Since we had a boy and a girl, my wife and I each took part of a weekend away, her with our daughter and me with our son, and combined both fun and sex ed together.  We used one of a number of excellent sets of recorded talks out there that hit the basics of maturing, adolescence and of course sex.  They were designed to lead to questions and discussion ideas for the two of us to talk about.

It was nice having someone else get the process going rather than just dig in on our own.  We spread out the discussions over a couple of days of shopping, fun activities, swimming at the hotel and the like.  You can then follow up later with other materials that will help them as they mature more.

So is it time for you to set up a weekend or at least get the process started.  Do it whatever way you choose but go for it.  You'll help your kids know what it means to be human and they'll also see a little more humanity in you.  Remember, God made sex so help your kids see it as something special He made for us all to enjoy.