Who's Getting Your Time and Why They Need It in 2016

A young boy was waiting at the door when his weary father came home. "Dad," he said, "how much do you make an hour?" "That's none of your business, son," the father responded obviously irritated.

"But dad," the son replied, "I really need to know, really!"

"Okay, I make about $30 an hour. Are you happy? You just wanted to know so you could go and buy some toy or video game. So go to your room and think about how selfish you are."

The boy leaves, his shoulders slouched, his head down. Before too long the father began to feel a little guilty about his sharp reply so he headed up to the boy's room with a ten-dollar bill in his hand.  "Son, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have responded the way I did. Here's the ten dollars."

The son's eyes lit up and he said excitedly, "Thanks, Dad!"  He then proceeded to pull a wad of bills from under his pillow and added the ten dollars to it. Then he said, "Dad, now I have $30. Can I buy an hour of your time?"

Sometimes those close to us are longing for the same thing. Just an hour or so of our precious, focused, non-distracted time. Yes, we've perhaps been around our kids but have we been with them?

We get busy, distracted, focused on other things and maybe other people. But we cannot continue to give them our leftovers.

Culture will only get more complicated and faster this year. We can't wait for it to change. We must change. The time we have with those we love can end in a moment or at least feel like one. The country western song says it so well, You're Gonna Miss This. Yes, someday soon we're going to miss those little bodies running around that we would love to slow down, those hugs we get when we come home yet wish for some quiet and the conversations we might wish would end sooner.

So give the people you love your focused time now. And give less to those who are merely takers and aren't a part of your most important connections. Embrace your moments for what they are not for what you wish they would be. And make it rich time as well as extended time. Most children and teens need both quantity and quality.

Who needs your time and might want to buy an hour of it?  Give it to them soon - for free!

Lessons in Love From a McDonald's Manager

Recently I visited a Michigan Mc Donald's to pick up some food to take out. And I was not there long to see that most of the help, even those behind the counter, were people with special needs. I found myself wondering how that might work especially with customers on a tight schedule who were likely in a hurry.

Would these people working take longer? Would anyone care? What if they made a mistake or couldn't figure out what to do next?

I soon found out. The sweet woman waiting on me was very pleasant but it took her longer to find things on the cash register. Several times she needed help. I wasn't in a hurry and would like to think I would not have cared about her slowness even if I was.

What impressed me next and most however was her manager. She was amazing. She was holding down the busy drive-thru lane but graciously moved away from her work theree and helped the woman in my line or anyone else.

She always treated her team with respect and spoke kindly. She never openly showed frustration or exasperation. She was a saint.

I think we can all learn from her no matter who we are dealing with and especially in our own homes.

We can first speak graciously and kindly.  We all have weaknesses, faults and make mistakes. We need to still treat each other with respect, honor and forgiveness. Jesus said to love others the way we love ourselves.

My wife and I just faced one of the worst weekends of our life with an extended family member and realized how cruel people can be with their words especially. The damage can be destructive.

But we can all also look for the best in people. That McDonald's manager did just that and she is making a difference in lives. Even with our spouses or children we can always want more rather than be thankful for and bless the good in them. Does that mean we overlook the negatives? Of course not.

This woman leader corrected her help every time but encouraged them as she did it. We must do the same. All salt and no sugar eventually leads to sour.

Who in your world needs to be treated with more love, dignity and grace?  Start today honoring, encouraging and blessing them with your words and actions even when you have to say hard things. Remember God does the same with us every day.

The Impact of a Hug

Her name is Elizabeth Laird. You probably don't know her but at Ft Hood here in Texas they do. She's known as the Hug Lady. Since 2003 she's been greeting soldiers deploying and returning from missions with a hug.

"If I can bring a smile to their face, if I can lift their spirits a bit, if I can let them know we care, it's my way of saying, 'Thank you for what you do.'" This four feet, ten inch woman is described as a one-woman welcome wagon and one-person goodbye party. In seven years they estimate she has hugged at least 500,000 soldiers.

Scared and worried soldiers leaving home and tired and worn out warriors thankful to have returned all get a hug from Elizabeth. Her hugs must be like a cup of cold water in the desert.

I wonder how many of us and the people in our world long for a hug. Oh, not just a physical, put your arms around the neck kind hug, as great as that is. No, a hug that may take a hundred different forms, but has the same impact. It's something that sends the message, I noticed you, you've not been forgotten, you matter to me and most of all you still matter to God.

Think about what hugs to our spouses, kids, parents, neighbors and coworkers might look like. A smile, a word of encouragement, a "how are things going?" to someone you know has been hurting.

What about a thank you in a spoken word or card? How about inviting someone for coffee 'just because.' Wouldn't it feel like a hug if someone walked up to you and said, "Thanks for a great job," or "I'm proud of you?"

Do we take interest in people, do we listen instead of talk, do we ever seek to learn more about someone else's recent or past story? All of these can be "hugs" that we give out regularly.

When we first moved to Texas we were amazed at how many people came up and gave us a hug even though they didn't know us. Yes, hugs can be overdone and misused but somehow it seems like we need them more in this fast-paced culture of ours.

And let's not leave out the physical version either. There is something affirming about appropriate touch and closeness when it expresses our love, pride and encouragement towards one another. In a world where people are flying by us every moment, a hug, physical or not, slows us down and helps us to notice someone else. We embrace each other emotionally when we really hug someone.

Who in your world needs to be hugged today? Who is the person who you think needs it least? They probably need it most. Give of your hugs freely, intentionally and lovingly. Give them often. And offer them in love. Someday we might wish we had hugged more when that person is no longer around or in proximity to meaningfully connect any more. Start now.