Are We Our Kids' Parent or Friend?

Are We Our Kids' Parent or Friend?

Few of us who parent want our kids to dislike us, right? We hope that they think we're the coolest parents around and never have to get therapy because of us. It's also not fun to endure their tantrums, rantings, poutings and defiance when they don't get their way so hmm. . . maybe ...

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Breaking the Orbit of Abuse

Breaking the Orbit of Abuse

This is a post I'd rather not write but I must. That's because in spite of the fact that we'd like to think that abuse only happens in marriages and homes that are overtly dysfunctional, that's not true. Abuse is often a secret. Abusers don't usually abuse other people. Usually ...

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Breaking the Orbit of Marital Distance

Breaking the Orbit of Marital Distance

How well do you know your spouse's favorites? When's the last time you've talked about your bucket list or at least some dreams you still have for life and marriage? Do you regularly have time to look each other in the eye and talk about what's going on in your heart? If you're ...

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Getting Your Family Out of "Orbit"

I have always loved following the space program. From the time I was in 6th grade or so watching the first launches into space to seeing Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin land on the moon to more recent shuttle flights, I can't take my eyes off our forays beyond earth's atmosphere. If I could go on a space shuttle flight I would be willing to leave in the morning.

However, one thing I've noticed about space flight is that when the shuttle gets into an orbit it stays there unless some sort of new and extra energy or power is introduced. In most cases some sort of rocket must be fired or that vehicle will just continue to go around the earth. Unfortunately that picture describes many marriages and families.

They have hopes and dreams that things will improve but the inertia of their orbit keeps them doing the same things over and over again. Sadly, some people don't know how to change, while others don't have the time to change. Many are afraid of change where some really don't want to change because all they know and are "comfortable" with is the way things are now.

Nonetheless, there are many orbits or patterns that are potentially harmful, destructive or at best not wise.

During the space program's moon flights I remember hearing about (you couldn't really see this part in those days) the spacecraft having to make a mid-course correction part way to the moon. It meant that they would quietly fire a small rocket that would adjust their direction ever so slightly. However, that small change would make a huge difference when they got to the moon.

Most marriages and families also need some mid-course corrections to help them to land in a better place. So in the next few posts I want to provide some practical suggestions to help you and your spouse or family get out of unhelpful and ultimately harmful orbits.

Psalm 78 reminds us that we as adults have the potential and ability with God's help to change the orbit so to speak of our relationship or family. No matter what we brought from our past to our current situation God can help us overcome it and provide a new direction in our homes.

"He decreed statutes . . . so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. They would not be like their forefathers . . . ." (Italics mine) vv. 6-8.

Here's some good news for today. Whether you're facing the orbit of busyness or abuse or addictions or anger or financial messes or lack of communication you can change. God is a God of new creation, second chances and changed lives.

Would you take some time to simply identify the unhelpful, unhealthy orbits of your life or your family's life? And would you first before God commit to change, commit to adding some new power and strength to your home and to do the hard work to go in a new direction?

God wants to free you to fly in new directions. And I'll try to provide some practical helps in the next few posts as well to get you on your way. Ignition . . . start!

The Power of A Family That Prays

The Power of A Family That Prays

Jackie and I recently attended a regional prayer conference. It was an excellent gathering time overall with excellent speakers and lots of resources to help individuals and churches make prayer more meaningful and impacting.However, I noticed something pretty quickly. We were some of the youngest ...

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When Our Kids Don't Play Anymore

When Our Kids Don't Play Anymore

Have you ever just watched a couple of small kids playing? They imagine, pretend, and fantasize about being larger than life characters or like adults they've seen in their world. It's fun to peek in to their creativity that comes out during those un-scheduled, un-planned moments. The ...

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Bring Easter To Your Home

Bring Easter To Your Home

It was Easter weekend. Last year I attended our church's Good Friday service at noon plus another city-wide service in the evening with some twenty-five hundred people in attendance. Both were outstanding. We offered four services Saturday night and Sunday morning and I'm sure they ...

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