Is Fear of Missing Out Driving You?

I was just checking my smart phone again and found three new emails with ideas that could streamline my productivity.  I need to try them. I recently got a new computer and the directions tell me about twenty new little shortcuts and timesavers that came with this new electronic beauty.  I need to memorize them.

I saw an ad for several new television programs that look really interesting and would probably expand my knowledge about people, life and the world around me. I should watch them.

I have a stack of good books waiting to be read or finished (I read thirty a year or more as is) and I have an exercise workout, Russian lessons and distant family also inviting me to give them my time.  I need to figure out how to add these back into my life.

Can you relate?  Do you, like me, hate to say "no" to any of these options because, "I don't want to miss out on something great."  Or "I want my kids to have the best so we'll do it all no matter what it takes."  Or, "That's a good thing, an important thing, I must figure out how to do that too!"

I've got news for you . . . and me.  We'll never do it all. Or as one wise pastor said, "We'll never accomplish all of our potential."  Don't even try.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that the plate of options for learning, productivity, entertainment, knowledge, growth and experience continues to increase geometrically every day.  We can't have or know it all.  But we are tempted to try, aren't we?  We feel guilty when we hit delete or throw a book away or erase a program from our television list.

We fear that our child will miss out on something vital for life if they don't take that class, play that semester or sports or get that lesson.

So what are we to do?

First, accept the fact that you can't do it all.  Period. Live with that truth.  It's OK.  Our worth is not based on how productive we are or how much we know.

Second, start conscientiously saying "no."  Don't order that new book, keep your kids out of a sport, turn the television off, skip that latest article you saw on Facebook. Be a chooser, not a responder. Learn to do only the best things or the most important things or the things that will add to your feeling alive or doing something God has called you to do.

Third, learn to rest or fast. Take a total break for a while from some of those things that have the greatest seductive pull on you. Get off of the internet or Facebook, don't watch television for a week or take a major break from some activity or even ministry for a season. Quit your hobby for a while. Remind yourself that you can live without some things and not die or shrivel up.

Fourth, embrace slowing down and resting. It's good for the body, soul and spirit.

You may miss out on some activities that could have enriched you but you will more likely not miss out on the ones that make you truly feel alive.

Getting Old Doesn't Need To Mean Getting Worse

OK, so I have to admit I'm not a kid anymore, in fact I'm creeping out of middle age and perhaps getting closer to Middle Earth! I saw that common sign again today at most big box checkout counters that says something like, If you appear to be under 40 we reserved the right to ask for ID if you purchase alcohol. No one is carding me that's for sure.

And yet it seems like so often in our society we write people off who don't fit our nice, beautiful and useful profile anymore. The gray hair is increasing, they walk more slowly and have certainly lost a lot if not most of any physical attractiveness.

But I'm convinced (and so is a lot of research) that people in their 60's and beyond still have much to offer God, their community and families. For that to happen of course requires that they themselves don't bail on life, quit being productive and think they should just sit on the sidelines. Some need to be reminded that people's 50+ years are the most productive and their 60+ years are second on average.

Think of Billy Graham and Paul Harvey who both have flourished personally well into their 90's.  Mr. Harvey died recently still busy and fruitful, doing amazing things known all over the country. As we age we also bring that much more experience and wisdom with us and it needs to be shared. Some of us need to start or continue writing, teaching, perhaps even putting some of our ideas on video for people to see and hear for decades to come.

Families need to also enlist the elder men and/or women  from time to time and let them tell their stories and share their insights with the younger ones.  That's Biblical, too, you know?  Some of the best mentors on the planet are people nearing retirement or already there. We just need to give them a forum. Why not bring t he old and young together more in churches?

So if you're getting up there in years don't think of this as the end, consider it more as a new beginning, an opportunity to pass on things for the next generations.  And if you know someone who might feel relegated to the sidelines, invite them into your conversations and let them still make a difference. They won't always be around, you know?

Preparing for Life When The Kids Are Gone

Most parents who have children can't imagine life without them. But unless we die early we are all going to experience the empty nest at some point.  Unfortunately many parents never prepare.

Instead, they spend eighteen or more years living life around their children and work. Children's activities require constant attention, taxiing and expenses. Work of course takes a significant amount of time and energy every week.

Perhaps there's a break for a week or two of vacation. But then the process starts all over again.

But what about mom and dad?  Will they ever learn to spend meaningful, fun and anticipated time together?  In many cases, no. That takes thought, planning and work.

So instead, the last child heads off to college or a family and mom and dad sit across from each other with no clue how to enjoy each other. Or they simply sit in front of the television and plan to die.

There is a better way.

Start living as a couple now. You probably did it for a few months or better yet years before the kids came along. From the time you started dating until that first baby arrived you were most likely great friends who talked, went out together, planned fun times and couldn't wait for the next time.

For some reason we think though that when kids enter the scene all that has to end. Now granted, it's more difficult. But we're making a huge mistake when our children become the center of their and our universe.

Instead we would be far wiser to keep making time together a high priority. You can still date if you work at it. You can still find time away if your plan well. As I've said other place planning is half the fun. In fact, it's not that you can't afford to be together, you can't afford NOT to be together.

Your kids need to see you making each other a priority or they'll do the same when they get married. They need to know they're not the center of the known universe. Life in not all about them.

So start right away. Put time for you as a couple on your calendar. Sure, there are limits and times when it will be harder but when the time comes for your kids to leave you'll be more OK with it and healthier in the process.