Embrace The Joy At Home

Jackie and I just spent a week watching our three Lubbock grandboys, ages 1, 3 and 5. Ok, so we're exhausted, but it was great fun. The boys were boys but behaved wonderfully the whole time. Their parents have obviously done a lot right. Sure we had our moments and wondered how mom and dad actually keep up with the constant questions, activity and neediness that normal kids that age expend.

Sometimes we'd get them all into bed and quiet at night and we would just collapse.

And I was reminded of when we were those parents and had the daily, non-stop responsibility for our two. How did we do it?  I'm not sure other than by the grace of God.

But I wonder how many parents under the pressures of parenting their little ones, saying "no" fifty times a day and being worn out much of the time also miss the little joys along the way. Perhaps we need to laugh and giggle a little more in the middle of our kids immaturity, challenges and being prone to look at themselves first.

One day, Silas, the three-year-old, was jumping on the couch. So I said, "Silas, don't jump on the couch please."  To which he responded, "Don't watch me do it." It took everything I had in me at the time to not laugh and unintentionally condone his actions, but inside I was cracking up. Somehow there was joy in seeing that little mind at work.

Joy came when we picked out and then carved our not so exotic pumpkins. And more joy arrived the next morning when we got up in the dark and had lit the pumpkins for them in the dark. Joy came when they rode the swing or their scooters with all their might grinning from ear to ear.

Joy showed up when they got their favorite donut with sprinkles or made a simple tower out of blocks. Joy was there when the oldest began to read words he never thought he could read.

All those little things could have been missed if we'd only focused on the BIG stuff or been too busy being productive. 

And remember joy doesn't only come in the good moments.  Joy isn't just another version of being happy. Joy can also be the feeling we have when we see something great, some work of God, some specialness in the difficult times when life isn't going as we'd hoped. We can bring some joy to our kids when we love them anyway when they've messed up.

We can exude joy when we teach our kids important lessons through their mistakes. We can have joy when we see those little bodies and minds attach themselves to new little learning moments or special times that don't require a lot of fanfare, money or fame.

Find some joy at your house even if times are tough. It's there if we'll look for it.

Sometimes The Big Things Are In The Little Ones

Big events and accomplishments always seem to get more attention, don't they?  Eighty-thousand people in a stadium always feels more exciting than eight hundred. An ad campaign that touches millions is usually view as better than one that impacts a few hundred.

Even service projects are deemed more worthwhile when we know that many, many people were helped versus just a few. And there is something to say for using our resources of time, talent and energy so that the greatest results can be achieved.

However, there are times when it seems like we've forgotten the potential impact of the one or two people we or our family might touch. When we help a neighbor or friend, assist one homeless person or volunteer for one morning God can use us to make a huge difference. At the moment, not necessarily. 

But as we do our share along with hundreds or even thousands of others BIG things can happen. Too many churches, non-profits and even individuals seem to think that success is only measured by the ton or at least the giant size version of congregation, money raising or community impact.

You hear it all the time . . . ."Yes, we're believing that ________________ people or churches or groups (or whatever) will be changed or take part or raise so many dollars or grow to a certain size."  And we should be thankful when hard work, prayer and commitment do result in important and significant outcomes.

But let's never miss the power of doing something small now for a greater result later and in tandem with others engaged in the same.

What might that mean in the everyday?  First, we will enjoy the little "wins" and blessings we see in our churches. We'll be thankful for the one or two new people who came, the one marriage that was saved and the few students who joined the youth group this last month.

Second, we'll be even more intentional about helping just one or two people each day. We'll look for those small opportunities to help a neighbor, friend or someone we just meet during the day.  We'll relish that we had that one God-moment to make this small difference in someone's life believing that God can use it for a far greater good.

Third, we'll teach our kids and model for each other an attitude of serving and giving that has no minimum on how much we accomplish. Caring and serving will simply become more of the norm at our house.

You see BIG things don't necessarily happen in big ways. They happen more often because people with just a little resource give it away believing something big will occur anyway.

Really Living? Most of Us Miss It

When is the last time you felt really alive? In fact, when is the last time you noticed something more than the fact that you were just existing? I would suggest that most of us miss the opportunity most of the time.

Why? Well, it's not because we're not breathing or our heart is not beating.

It's just that there's not that much we enjoy that takes our breath away or causes our heart to skip a beat. Of course there are lots of opportunities. We are usually just too busy doing the everyday and the mundane to truly engage with the spark in every one of us known as life.

I know it's not fun to be out of breath or to have a racing heart but we would at least notice our body functioning in some unique way and be reminded that we are not dead. In fact, noticing would be hard to avoid.

You see we need something that jolts us out of our cruise-controlled life and reminds us that the life within us is truly special, unique and ultimately amazing. Pain works. So does shock or tragedy or some other sudden interruption of our normalcy.

But there are other and better ways to be reminded of and enjoy life without the negative prompts. We might also want to engage in them more and even give our family members similar opportunities on a more regular basis.

Slow down. Instead of driving the fast way home, take the long way. Turn the radio off. Walk instead of drive. Skip an evening responsibility and stay home. Simplify your days even a little. I hear of more and more people these days who are downsizing. They have realized they don't need it all. Neither do you.

Do what you were meant to do as much as what you have to do. Some things in life are boring and required. Everything doesn't have to be fun nor can it be. But somewhere in our week, month and year we need to engage in what we naturally do and love. Use those skills to serve others and pay it forward. Find a ministry that gives you the opportunity to do what you can't live without and you'll feel alive most very time.

How do you know what that is?  I don't have an easy answer other than you'll know. You will do it with very little effort, the time will fly and it will probably involve other people.

Spend more time with the people you love and just enjoy watching them live, breathe and move. Become amazed at their talent, artistry, uniqueness and abandon. Sing, dance and enjoy with them if you can. And don't rush whatever you are doing. Let it simmer. Embrace the moments more.

Little children are a great place to start. So are seniors or those with special needs. Just start looking and you'll see what you need to see.

Pray for wisdom to keep learning where life will show up for you. Feeling alive isn't a one-time thing. Once you get a taste you will want more but you will have to fight off the inertia that will try to keep you from more and returning to the sameness of life beforehand. Don't give in.

Everyday those lifegiving opportunities are everywhere. We don't need to hunt for them. They will find us if we let them and we'll never be the same.

Beware of Selling and Modeling Cheap Happiness

I was at a festival of sorts the other day, one of those gatherings in another state where people came from all over to hear a lot of bands, eat food, hang out, buy crafts . . . you know what I mean?  There were thousands of people there. And I was one of them.

And it was a fun night in many ways. There's nothing wrong with listening to some music, enjoying some not-so-healthy-food and seeing more than a few really weird people out in public now and then. There can be something uplifting and reenergizing when you go out and have some simple, uncomplicated fun.

But the problem is that for many of those people, at least I would guess, that evening was pretty much what they look forward to over and over. They will attend another gathering - a bar, a patio, a concert, a backyard - where they will do pretty much the same thing - talk about the same old topics, have a few drinks and burgers, sit and listen to the same old music, try to impress somebody with some accomplishment and go home.

That's what I mean by cheap happiness. We settle for the same old thrills that may make us a little happy for a while or perhaps just dull some other pain and we think that's all there is.  Watch college and university students out on the town and you'll see what I mean. And often we lead our spouse or kids into the same lifestyle and never introduce them or ourselves to something more, something better, something richer.

Let me suggest a couple of ideas to help you to get in touch with a few opporutunities that will more likely bring you joy and add something to your life that's actually worth doing over and over.

First, take a deeper dive into something.  If you like music, great, but become a student or expert or follower or healthy fanatic. Perhaps you like to hike, then go climb a big mountain. If you are fascinated with a country, learn the language some and take a trip there.  If you have a skill, talent or resource that could help others then start volunteering, giving and serving and bring your spouse or kids along to participate.

Second, add variety to your fun.  Don't keep doing the same things over and over.  Perhaps do more by going to less. We love to travel but can't afford to be going all the time.  So we plan some bigger trips that we can look forward to but that also add some special locations to our itinerary.  We've gone to Alaska, Switzerland, Austria, France, British Columbia, the Smokie Mountains and the like.  Next month we're off to Yosemite National Park and San Francisco.

We do go a few places on a more regular basis but we can't stand just doing the same thing.

Third, ask God to give you a mission or ministry. I've been to Russian fifteen times and have a heart for the people there that I never dreamed would happen years ago.  Others have local commitments to help feed the hungry, help the homeless, work with special needs kids and the like.  It doesn't matter as long as you become invested in it and use your gifts, talents and resources.  It's this kind of involvement that changes lives, including yours!

So, don't settle at your house for cheap opportunities to feel a little better doing the same things everyone else is doing.  Because if you do you will someday look back and wonder what you did with your time.  But if you try something new, meaningful and unique you will more likely wonder why you didn't start sooner.

Someday Our Words and Actions Will Be Our Last Ones

Recently we saw some of the worst loss of life by tornadoes in the history of our country. These wild and devastating storms rolled through the Midwest and killed dozens of innocent people and leveled complete towns. One little toddler was found miles from her home but her immediate family had all died.

Not one of those people who lost their lives woke up that morning believing that day was their last. And neither should we. But we can do more of what the country song suggests and "Live like we're dying." I think that means making the most of every day and filling it with words and actions that we would include if it were our last day.

Some suggestions? Say words of life. I've spoken on this in other posts but it's a pretty simple concept. Communicate with words that go deeply into the soul of those you love, that speak to their personhood, who they are. Have you told people that mean the most to you that you love them, you're proud of them and that you are thankful for what they've done for you?

Second, do some of the important things you've always wanted to do. We had a pastor friend who was going to retire soon at age sixty-five and he and his sweet wife had all sorts of travel plans. The only problem was that he got a quick-spreading cancer and died within months. Don't wait if possible to do some of the special things on your bucket list.

Third, slow down and enjoy more daily moments. Stop and look at the stars, talk longer to your spouse or kids, sit and drink your cup of coffee for a few more minutes and be thankful. Play more, do less and spend time with people. Relationships are the most valuable human asset we have.

So I hope today is not your last day and that you and I have thousands more. But if you'll add a little more life to every day you live, you'll likely not get caught having missed opportunities to say and do what you'd always hoped to do with those you love.

Make a New Year's "Revolution" This Year

As I write this post I'm sitting at my sister-in-law's home having enjoyed several days of family time with more to come during the upcoming week. Lately I've been thinking a lot about how blessed I've been to have first lived this many decades and second to have the family I've been enjoyed for so many years.

However, while some of life was beyond my control, I'm thankful that at various turns on my journey people have encouraged me to both stop and evaluate where I've been and to regularly reconsider where I'm going. In fact, there have been several key watershed moments in my life that have radically changed my direction. Life could have been far less meaningful, interesting and impacting without those vital times that helped me gain new perspective.

So as the new year approaches I want to encourage you and/or your spouse to not just make some casual resolutions that you will probably forget about in a week or two. What if this year you thought and prayed about just one major new direction that you will take this year in your marriage, parenting or life in general?

What if you said, "I'm not going to settle for this coming year being just one more year of my life? Instead, I'm going to do something different, something more lifechanging that will make a difference in the life of someone and matter more for eternity."

Maybe it will involve the fulfillment of a personal dream. Dreams are often those things that would best use our skills and resources anyway while breathing new life into our everyday world. Perhaps you could serve others in a new or fresh way through sharing your time and talents in the community, your church or city. Maybe there is a project that needs your specific skill set and passion where hundreds, even thousands of people would be changed as a result. The possibilities are endless.

You see most of us tend to get into some ruts that are comfortable in many ways but that have stymied our personal and family growth. It's hard to find a new way to look at life and your future when all you can see are the walls of the long bunker you've lived in for a long time.

Our marriages and families could find new energy and excitement if we'll just take time to ponder how our direction might change and our purposes could be fulfilled.

So where do we begin? Well, you might start by simply answering these questions: What have I always wanted to do that I've never done before? (You know, develop a Bucket List!).

Second, what passions and talents do I have that could be used to help someone else?

Third, has anything - a cause, need or person - been gnawing away at me lately and occupied a lot of my thinking?

Some careful thinking, pondering and praying with a spouse, friend and even older children could help give you a whole new direction and turn your former resolutions into a life revolution. Whatever you do, start somewhere! Don't let this next year just be another 365 days of the same. God made you and me to be difference makers so dare to be different. You won't regret your decision, I promise.