So What If This Year Was REALLY Different At Your House?

We all know that the New Year is a common time for people to make resolutions they rarely keep.  But what if this year were different, not even in BIG ways but just little adjustments here and there that could potentially mean big changes down the road.

None of these suggestions, and they are only suggestions, are that big of a deal by themselves but I have a hunch that if we even did a couple they could end up bearing revolutionary results if we stayed with them. Here we go:

What if we bought less and were thankful for what we have just a little more each day?

What if we stopped one activity that uses lots of time but pays little dividend.

What if we had a weekly tech free night or even one hour each day?

What if we got to know three neighbors who we don't currently know?

What if we saved up some money each month to give away to someone who needs it?

What if we took a vacation that is different from what most other people do?

What if we found a new activity our whole family would enjoy and made it a hobby?

What if we actually took time to look at old pictures and videos?

What if we parents told our kids some of our stories about growing up?

What if every day we took time to share a high and low from our day?

What if we regularly talked about God moments that we experienced?

What if prayed more both individually and together?

OK, so I gave you a few ideas.  I'll bet you can come up with more, ones that your family could also embrace and turn into a truly new year. Try one or two. Let me know what happens. I'll bet you will want to do more. I'll bet you won't want to go back to the old way either.

Beware Family Sinkholes

Maybe you heard about the car museum in Florida where some eight Corvettes were damaged or destroyed falling into a sinkhole that appeared in the floor. Eight Corvettes! Most of us would love to have just one!

One moment that museum housed hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of shiny sports cars and minutes later many were gone. What was so valuable quickly turned to rubble.

I wonder if we ought to think about life that way a bit more. I wonder if we shouldn't look at many of the things that seem valuable to us and realize that life's sinkholes could take them away too in an instant.

I often talk with people who at one time were making hundreds of thousands of dollars each year but now struggle to find or keep a job. For a while they were living the high life but now it's vanished. Others lost their "Corvettes" to their health, to the economy, to a dishonest coworker or their own foolishness. Whatever the case the wealth and value they once thought they had is no more.

Sometimes life is hard and bad things happen.

So what do we do? Like that museum we can't always avoid the sinkholes. They often just happen. But we can have a different perspective that won't make the loss seem so great.  We can value different things so that we put our hope in what truly matters. And that perspective is something we parents must especially teach our kids. We couples must affirm for each other every day.

A few key components of a healthy perspective?

Stuff is only stuff. More of anything material does not make more of us! If we have it, great. If we lose it, it's not the end of the world. Do not let your home, your efforts, your focus revolve around more things. If you're blessed with a lot, give a lot away.

Relationships are where the greatest riches lie. Invest in time with each other, making memories and learning more about each other. Unfortunately, families today have or make little time to just be with each other, talk and grow together. Be different and make time for one another.

Don't become an entitled couple or family. Don't expect that you always have to get the best, the most and what's first.  Teach your kids to look out for those who have less, volunteer in places where people have little and be willing to scale back and live on less.

Ask yourself, "What would we do if we lost most everything material that we own?"  Of course you would be sad, even devastated, but could you see yourself moving on?  Can you picture your family living on less and knowing that you're OK?

The greatest example of someone not needing stuff was Jesus. He even said that he had "nowhere to lay his head."  He had no home, few possessions and probably not a lot of clothes. But He was the source of peace and joy and still is.

It seems like if He could do it, we can . . . and must.

Simple May Be Better

Jackie and I were flying back and forth to the Midwest last week. We usually bring things to read on the plane and I was reading a book that discussed how if churches were to intentionally become simpler they would perhaps actually accomplish more. However, at one point in the flight I looked up to also see a man near me reading a book called The 36 Hour Day.

I thought, "What a contrast!" A simpler life vs adding even more hours to our day so to speak. Hmm. . . I decided right then that I really don't want to have a 36 hour day. My twenty-four hour one is quite long enough thank you.

I wonder how many families wish they could pack just a little more into each day. And would it help? I'm not sure it would. Have we simply added more activity to our lives but less meaning and significance? Will we say ten to fifteen years from now, "Gee, I wish we would have been busier!" I doubt it.

My hunch is that many of us will be lamenting that there was too much time spent in the car going from place to place and not enough time looking each other in the eye, playing together or simply talking about life. I have a feeling we'll wonder where the time went and then wish we had stopped and just done nothing a little bit more, which would actually be doing something important.

We need time to connect again. No, I'm not suggesting we go back to the 1800's. We can't. And we shouldn't. We live today and must try to live life to the fullest in that context. However, what if all of our activity isn't really where true life can be found? What if simpler were better in some ways?

Of course there is no one template on time that will fit every home and family. We have different numbers of children, unique interests and varying job and school demands. However, have we ever compared our goals and real dreams for our marriages and children with the actual time we give towards their fulfillment?

For example, if you as a married couple want your marriage to become more intimate in body, soul and spirit, where you don't just live together but grow together, then ask yourself, "How much time in a week do we give to that goal?" When do you seriously talk, do you have time to enjoy one another physically, do you have fun together, do you think about spiritual things?

If you can't come up with many ways to answer those questions you probably need to re-arrange some things in your schedule, quit some others and figure out how you're going to become more intimate.

Or if as parents, you want your kids to enjoy time as a family, learn about spiritual things, remember some special moments you enjoyed together and the like, ask yourself, "Does our schedule encourage those things or take away from them?" Do our kids need to be in all the activities they're in, do we need to work as much as we do, are we ever intentional about reaching these goals or do we just expect them to happen?

When our son Tim was in the 8th grade, we were given an opportunity to spend a week in Colorado. It was around that time that I suddenly realized that he was only going to be actively in our home for another five years or so. And while we'd done some good things, I think, as parents and certainly spent time together I decided that I needed to consider doing something with him that he would never forget.

So that summer in Colorado we climbed our first 14er (a mountain over 14,000' of which there are fifty -two in Colorado). It was challenging, dangerous at times, but a blast. I'll never forget it and neither will he. I committed to doing three mountains like that before he graduated from high school. And you know what? We did four and at least one since then, including our last with him, his wife and my daughter. I'm so glad we decided to be intentional rather than just hoping it would happen.

To do that however, we had to simplify in some other areas. We had to decide to give up some other activities that the kids could have done, some other personal pursuits and work commitments that we could have taken on so that we could reach that intentional goal to do something special together.

I challenge you as married couples or parents to do the same. Your goals and ways of reaching them don't need to be the same as ours or anyone else's but you'll be glad you slowed down and focused on what really matters.