What About The Night(s) After Christmas?

It's always amazing, isn't it, how long we anticipate the arrival of Christmas Day and yet how quickly it's here and gone. The gifts have been opened, the relatives are back home and the lights and decoration seem to have lost their luster. We're now ready for it all to be put away. Even some post-Christmas shopping isn't quite as fun or exciting.

Maybe that's why we try to crank ourselves up again for New Year's with all of its hopefulness, optimism and accompanying celebration.

But I wonder if we don't give what took place during the Christmas season enough credit and too easily lay aside its challenges, inspiration and impetus for real change and new direction. Rather than hope that some less than helpful New Year's resolutions will turn our lives around, we could still consider some of the good things that remain from Christmas.

For example, don't forget the family times. Hopefully this season you slowed down here and there, took a moment or two, even part of a day, to just enjoy each other without a clock, agenda, deadline or trip in the car. You laughed, told stories and played. Why can't there be more of that the rest of the year? There can. Figure out one or two ways you can allow that kind of time back into your home.

Or, embrace more of the important things all year:  Jesus, salvation, loving others, giving to those with needs and hope. So often these profound, life-changing, long-lasting truths and concepts get lost in our penchant for hurrying and accomplishing. We may care about our faith but so often we don't practically live it. What if this year we all were much more intentional about the things that mattered most, like those we were reminded of and even did again this year?

And don't lose the power of a gift. No, I'm not talking about going into debt for a bunch of things that will be forgotten or put away within days or weeks or gifts given just because that's what everyone does in the family and they're expected.

No, remember more what you felt when you received that unexpected or handmade or especially meaningful gift that clearly had a message of love and care behind it. We can give those gifts the rest of the year too. They may not even be wrapped up but they come in the form of a kind word, a thank you, a gesture that says I'm still thinking about you. They can be tangible too like a note, flower or some other especially loved item that says to someone that they still matter to you.

While the night before Christmas almost always exudes anticipation and delight, the nights (and days) after will tell us if Christmas was really the time of peace and joy it was intended to be. Let your Christmas last this year. It's really up to you.

Three Things Not To Skip This Christmas At Your House

I'll bet there are a few things you might like to leave out of your holidays this season though that may not be possible: your weird Uncle Mel's sense of humor, grandma's fruitcake, the credit card bill coming in January or figuring out whose house you'll be at and when.

And of course there are the things most families never want to lose even though they may at some point: unique traditions, opening gifts together, putting up decorations (okay most guys are thinking differently here) and lots of food.

But there are a few important elements that can get lost if we're not careful. They're not terribly involved, don't require much expense and families are usually surprised at the potential reactions they get from family members. However, the busyness of the season that we often let steal our time can keep these things as a footnote at best if present at all.

The first?  Don't skip the real Christmas story. You know the one about Jesus for whom the holiday is named. Telling it doesn't require a boring reading, however. You can act it out, have a fun discussion sometime after one of your services or read it in a new version. Every idea obviously is dependent on the ages of the children involved.

But don't think that just because it was covered in church that you've done enough. Often the church presentations get lost too in the bigness, tradition and excitement of the event. You might consider just reviewing it with each child as you tuck them in one night.

Second? Don't skip serving someone else. If Christmas is about gifts then it makes sense to bless someone else outside of our family who might not have much to get or give. Find a family or organization and build a relationship with them that you cultivate all year with the holidays just being the culmination of the past year of helping them.

So often our kids think Christmas is ultimately about them. Why?  Because we teach them that when we make gift getting the focus. Let your kids be a part of selecting who you'll help and serve and if they're old enough do some of the leg work. It will be fun and give Christmas a whole new perspective.

Finally, don't skip the thank you's.  Of course thank God that you made it together through another year. Perhaps you even went through some big challenges or losses. Even so, thank Him for walking you through and being there when you needed Him.

Also, thank the people you love and those who've blessed you in some way. They don't each need a gift other than your words of appreciation. There are scores of people in your world who would love to simply know what they did for you mattered and was noticed.

Say it, write a note, take someone out for a cup of coffee. Say thanks and "I love you" to those you are closest too. Whatever you do, don't assume that you've said it enough. You haven't most likely.

So have a great Christmas, but make it extra special by adding some things this year that might change everything and everyone - including you! Merry Christmas.

The Five Greatest Gifts For Your Kids This Year

Is your Christmas shopping done? Probably not unless you're one of those really organized people. Like most you are probably running from place to place, checking list after list while trying to find the best deals that will maximize your Christmas budget this year.

And while gifts for each other are great and yes can still remind us of the incredible gifts God gave us in sending His Son to earth, I wonder if there aren't some other less tangible, yet more valuable gifts we might give this season. Let me suggest a few, ones that can last and be enjoyed all year long.

More of you. No, I don't mean that you will show up at more of their events or drive the kids to more places in the family taxi. Rather, give them more of you when you're not exhausted, more of you at your best, more of you in casual, relaxed times when they can just be with you and you with them. Let go of some of the usual demands and obligations you've placed on yourself and family and leave some time and energy to just enjoy one another.

Surprises. What if this year instead of doing the same activities, going to the same events, and spending your money on the usual things, you found a couple of special, unique things to do with them that they will never forget?  It will depend on your abilities, interests and resources but you can do a special trip or getaway, visit or invite someone they haven't seen for awhile or attend an event or show they've wanted to go to. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

Serve together. Consider finding not just a holiday commitment but a year-long opportunity, perhaps once a month or several times in the next twelve months to care for other people together. The gift?  The blessing of doing something for others and together. Plus you'll be modeling for them how real life and joy are more often found in giving not getting.

Slow down. This is necessary for most good gift ideas but what if this year it was simply more obvious that the whole family is going to be less busy than past years. And while kids might balk at first they will most likely see and reap the benefits of not living in the angst of running ragid and meeting the demands of others all the time. You may take some flak from outsiders too, but so what?  Try it.

Deepen your family's faith walk.  When we make significant changes in other priorities we open up our options for growing spiritually too. Parents will have to set the pace on this but think about some ways that you all can grow more spiritually, both individually and together. One size doesn't fit all here and chances are you're not looking for a program or course to do this. It might start with just praying more, adding more spiritual growth options at home or talking more about spiritual things.

You might serve this year on a missions trip or at a local shelter or other organization.

Whatever you do this season and subsequent new year, be sure to include some gifts that won't ever be under the tree but will shine brightly for months, even years, to come. And once they're opened I'm pretty sure they will be enjoyed long after the boxes and other gifts are set aside for something else.

So What's A Parent To Do With Halloween?

My kids are long past the Halloween stage. Okay, they're actually grown, married adults with their own kids now. And they face the same challenges we did when we every year faced this bizarre, often misguided holiday. Sure, it's fun to dress up and get candy, but kids today have even more ugly, almost demonic outfits to choose from not to mention the other kids whose parents often give no thought to putting their children in grotesque and often hell-ish like costumes.

So how do you handle it as a parent? Some choose to skip it, others find alternative activities while many think it's just pretend so what's the big deal?

First, to me skipping Halloween without any discussion or substitute seems unwise and probably confusing to the kids. All their friends are involved for the most part though that alone is not a reason to let them do anything we oppose. However, to just not participate in any way doesn't seem to be the answer either.

Alternatives are good, many churches and clubs offer them, but that doesn't answer the question for older ones which is, "So what's the problem with Halloween in the first place?" But just jumping in to Halloween activities without some cautions is a bit dangerous, too. The movies, videos, comic books and TV programs out these days have taken the blood and gore to new extremes and wise parents ought to notice.

I want to suggest a couple of things. One, whatever you do consider celebrating All-Saints Day the day before. Do some research online and learn the bigger history and biblical, spiritual implications that the healthy side of this holiday implies.There are wonderful models and stories that our kids shouldn't miss out on.

Two, participate in some way with appropriate attire and only at homes of people you know well. Many families put out fun decorations without all the gore and guts stuff that will keep your day fun and wholesome, not gruesome. Some parents actually work together and share the load with each other and throughout a neighborhood.

Three, if you can find an alternative activity that substitutes other kinds of characters and images as well. But frankly, some of the activities out there simply aren't very good and are actually pretty hokey.  Use your judgment and maybe talk to others before just jumping in. No need to go to something that is just a waste of time.

Four, and maybe most important, talk to your kids. Of course, be age appropriate. Don't demean any other family or child who just loves Halloween or imply that your family is better. They don't need a Hell, fire and brimstone sermon. But you can talk about having fun, about concerns with evil, demonic images (even though they are hopefully fake) and that you as a family want to focus on only the good and enjoyable parts of it all.

You'll probably have to say no to some of the outfits and images and you should. Some of the video game characters represent nothing good or healthy. Your older kids should be able to understand that. Show them that in your faith and God there are better alternatives and that our minds need to be on what is good, right and positive.

Halloween can be just a fun time of the year without having to keep our kids from any of the good times they could still have. You will have to be the ultimate guide through it all. And maybe if work it right there will be a few pieces of candy left just for you!

Avoid the Immaculate Deception This Christmas

Before Thanksgiving Alice was already planning for Christmas. Yes, she put her usual passion into the food planning, preparation and family inviting for turkey day but she also made time to start her Christmas checklist and knock a few of those tasks off as well.

And now that the first round of food and football are over she is going full steam ahead to make Christmas as wonderful as it always is. There are gifts to buy of course, but the house decorating has always been an obsession with her so the attic and garage have been cleared of their Christmas decorations and she is on her way to turning her house into a fantasy land.

Granted her oldest will be home soon from college and her parents are getting up in years. She hopes to spend some quality time with all of them and even invite a few close friends over but all that will need to wait until she has things just right.

Alice is encouraged, however, because she did get up early on Black Friday and buy some of the gifts she knows her family will treasure and she saved some money this year in the process. And she knows that with a few late nights (OK, maybe a lot of them) she will also get her Christmas cards signed and sent out. This year's cards, more like booklets, are the best and most creative ever with lots of pictures and updates on the kids successes and family milestones.

Is Alice a version of  you at holiday time? She certainly represents a lot of people who are caught in what I call the Immaculate Deception. It's the false belief that certain expectations must be met every year at the holidays. And as a result many individuals and families miss out on the most important opportunities of a time like Christmas.

Some common misguided demands?  That everything be perfect. The house, the cards, the meals, the outfits, the church service, the time spent with family - they must all be refined to a standard that in reality can never be reached. As a result family members (often mom) never sit down, can't relax and miss out on the many spontaneous and casual conversations, interactions and special moments that they will never quite have again.

Second, that everyone be happy. Yes, holidays are a time when we should be happy and joyful but there is no way to please everyone . . . and yet we often try. We have to get Uncle Ralph the perfect gift and send Grandma Mary a card on time. Our kids need to get every gift they asked for and be allowed and even transported to attend every gathering required of them. Even Jesus didn't go to everything or give everyone what they wanted so why should we?

Third, we do more than in the past. If last year's Christmas card was really creative, then this year's must be more so. If we bought such and such last year for a present we should do better this year. We at least think that everything we've done before should be equaled if not improved. Says who?

The sad part about buying into the deceptions that often surround our holidays is that we miss out on what really matters. Let me suggest a few things:

Jesus. Yes, Jesus as the saying goes IS the reason for the season. I get it when non-Christ-followers don't focus on Jesus much but I don't get it when Christians pretty much avoid Him other than going to a Christmas Eve service. Try making Jesus the focus of your holiday and see what changes. Re-teach the real story of Christmas and tell about some of the things you are most thankful for from God.

Close family time. Notice the word close. Sure families are generally together during at least some of the Christmas vacation but are they close?  Do they really talk? Do they slow down and just enjoy each other, perhaps even get to know each other better?  When we're running, running, running there will be little time for each other.

Spontaneous get togethers with friends, neighbors, relatives or associates.  What would our holidays be like if we took time to just grab a friend and go have coffee (egg nog latte)? What if we did something really unique with our family or in the neighborhood, something WAY out of the box that we would never forget instead of the usual? What if we just enjoyed the tree that we put up, played some games, listened to music or watch a favorite Christmas special without having to fit it in between events or responsibilities?

You know there is still time to make this year's Christmas different. But you'll have to make some decisions NOT to do a few things pretty soon. Nevertheless try it. Remember all that other stuff may just be taking you away from the best Christmas ever and from the Jesus who started it all in the first place.

The Best Christmas Gifts You Could Give Your Family This Year

Most of us have spent countless hours and energy trying to find just the right gift at least for those we love the most. Other gifts have been perhaps more obligatory and in some cases perhaps we didn't even care that much.

However, a number of us have missed some of the most obvious and yet valuable gifts we could ever give. And they don't require huge sums of money, credit card payments or sets of directions. Let me suggest a few.

First, this year give the gift of your time. Gary Chapman suggests in his now classic book, The Five Love Languages, and in various versions of it that focused time is a key way that most people feel loved. So this year give your spouse, your kids, a friend or neighbor some meaningful time with you. Time doing what?  It depends on the person but it might include conversation (especially listening), doing something they like, just focusing on them for a while.

Second, this year give the gift of the story.  The what?  Yes, the story.  First, share the Christmas story.  That is the holiday, isn't it?  Christmas, Jesus, the manger, the splitting of the calendar - it all happened. It's the core of history and yet most of our movies and Christmas specials are only about reindeer, Santa, lights and presents.  But secondly, tell some more of your own stories.  Perhaps talk about Christmases you enjoyed or special events in your life when you were growing up.

Third, this year give the gift of less.  Christmas sadly has become all about us and often we give our kids more and more so they expect more and more. Try giving less to them and together offer more to others. Give some of your money away to a non-profit or overseas mission or charity. Buy a goat, pig or cow for someone in a deprived country so they can have sustenance all year long. Places online like World Vision and Samaritan's Purse make it easy to do.

Fourth, this year give them some new memories.  The above three suggestions might be a start. But perhaps you could add some new Christmas light viewing, a story time with special treats or a movie that you've not seen before about Christmas. One of our favorites is The Polar Express and it has some interesting spiritual overtones that are worth noting and talking about.

Use your own creativity but my hunch is that it will be these things that your family remembers far longer than any special material gift.  And you don't have to wrap them!

From Greed to Gratefulness This Year

Some woman was sitting in front of a Best Buy days before the holiday to save $240 on a television set on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Really? She gave up family time, a meal with those she loves and who knows what else all for a couple hundred dollars.

Of course that's a pretty extreme example, but I wonder how many of us really think about the messages we're sending to our kids, spouses and selves that really say, "You know, this Thanksgiving thing is really all about me getting what I want when I want it."  While we might suggest that we're really grateful people (and most of us probably are), are we still saying that it's not enough?

Sure, some people like the fun, tradition and the fact that maybe they really did get a good deal. And there's nothing inherently wrong in any of that. But why do we have to have that during a holiday that we call Thanksgiving? Couldn't we stop for a few days and truly be thankful, talk about how blessed we are and not have to have the next bigger, better, cheaper or even more expensive thing?

I wonder if a lot of the dysfunction and even emotional struggle in our country isn't because we have forgotten how to be thankful and grateful for what we have. Have we isolated ourselves that much from people not far from us as well as those around the world who have next to nothing and yet are probably happier than we are in many ways?

Can I suggest a few alternatives this year?  First, just skip all the drastic bargain hunting. Stay home, enjoy the days off and truly spend some time thanking God for your blessings.  Enjoy some things that are really priceless like time with people you love.

Second, cut back on Christmas gifts. If you have to spend money, give it away or go make someone else's holiday that much better. Find a mission agency and buy something for someone in another country that will make them ongoing income throughout the year. Give each family member a small amount of money and see who can get the most for someone else in the family with that little bit. I'll bet you'll remember that Christmas like never before.

Third, decide on some ways you can live differently all year long.  Christmas is just around the corner. Other sales, holidays, birthdays and random moments will beckon us to spend money on more things we don't really need and miss opportunities to bless someone in need. Why not commit to helping your family learn what it means to feel really alive by giving more away than we get?

Remember the things our kids learn best are those we model most. Think about how to model things that will last not just a lifetime but an eternity.

Ten Things Great Dads Do or Don't Do

In several years of blogging at this site I've not written a post related to Father's Day.

So in honor of this FD weekend, let me offer my Top Ten List for dads of things great fathers do:

  1. They love their wives.
  2. They keep their word to their spouse and kids.
  3. They act like an adult most of the time.
  4. They still have a childlike heart.
  5. They take care of themselves physically but aren't obsessive about it.
  6. They live out their faith in everyday ways.
  7. They laugh a lot for the right reasons.
  8. They initiate important communication with other family members.
  9. They pray every day for the family.
10. They live like they are dying.

What Did We Teach ABout Easter This Year?

So the official holiday has passed for another year. Attendance at church will likely drop to more normative levels and church leaders will catch their breath from the non-stop preparations done for the huge crowds.

But it's always worth asking ourselves, "What message did we as a church or family send or learn this Easter?" Of course, our intent was likely to focus on the real story, the resurrection of Christ, but did we?

A Facebook post had a picture of their church meeting in a huge public arena and entitled their comments, "The Best Easter Service Ever." And while I wasn't there I had to wonder why it was the best in their mind - because it was big? because there were lots of people? because it perhaps outshined the talents and resources of their previous churches or experiences?

Other churches brought in special speakers. One church I know of gave people gas money if they came. Were those services better then in some way than the church whose one hundred people, up from their normal fifty, praised and thanked God too with all of their being? I would suggest they were not.

While there may be a place for "extra special" components during our celebrations I think we need to be careful that we're not teaching something we never intended, at least I hope we didn't, that somehow Easter is better if it's bigger.

The Easter story isn't about us, it's about Christ and His sacrifice. And while I'll be the first to suggest that we must tell the story well, do things with excellence and give God our very best, I don't think that requires big or spectacular or somehow outdoing the next church.

I wonder how many parents leave or prepare for our Easter services by telling the story themselves to their families? I wonder how many Easter worshipers celebrate the day just as well in a small gathering of committed believers who humbly offer their thanks and praise to God. I wonder how many of us on the Monday after are still just as excited about Easter after all the inspiration of the day is over.

I'm trying to do that. It's what I hope we'll all spend more time doing this year.

My Top Ten Great Family Easter Ideas

Easter isn't just an important holiday for Christians . . . it's the ultimate one. If there was no resurrection then every Christian might as well fold up shop and look for another eternal reality.

Therefore, we dare not miss great opportunities for teaching the significance and importance of Easter to our family members. And to help I've offered ten ideas you might consider during this Easter season.

1. Watch The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.  C.S. Lewis' famous segment of the Chronicles of Narnia has several beautiful pictures of both the death and resurrection of Christ in Aslan the lion.

2. Read the Easter story from the Bible. Luke is probably your best Gospel source.

3. Attend your Easter service but talk about what you heard, saw and experienced when you get home or over dinner at a restaurant.

4. With age-appropriateness in mind, watch The Passion of the Christ.

5. Listen to several great worship songs or hymns and discuss what they remind us of regarding Christ's sacrifice for us.  Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace and When I Survey come to mind.

6. Go serve somewhere together as a picture of Christ's coming not to get but to serve us.

7. Get up early and go to a park or other scenic area and talk about what the women and other disciples might have experienced that Easter morning.

8. Give an Easter financial or other gift to a local service agency as another example of Christ's gift for us.

9. Take communion at home with bread and your choice of juice or wine.

10.  Have a time of prayer thanking God for sending His Son to die and rise again for you.

You can probably come up with some of your own. But don't settle for mere candy and bunnies at your house. Nothing wrong with those but missing the bigger story?  That is a mistake.

Three Cautions About Valentine's Day

OK, so some of you reading this are already mad at me for trying to spoil your special day, right? Believe me, I'm not attempting to mess up any good that will come out of your or my celebration. In fact, later today, my wife and I are going to celebrate a little early and also give each other something on the actual day. So there.

However, I need to use the occasion of Cupid's holiday to give us all some fair warning and challenge. Because you see, Valentine's Day and other somewhat man-made occasions designed to force us to do something nice can be deceiving.

First, they can help us feel better about the weaknesses in our relationship. We give each other a nice gift, card, dinner or whatever and then life continues on like normal. We feel good that we celebrated and were able to tell others about our gift giving but the rest of the year we're still struggling. We would be wiser to spend less on Valentine's Day and more towards counseling or at least time every week to be together and grow as a couple.

Second, they can distort what it means to truly be loving. Of course, the stores, flower growers and candy makers all want us to believe that giving their gifts will totally change our relationship. But we all should know at least that being loving is way more than giving some nice gifts now and then. Our gift giving is best when it's another gesture of the kind of love we've shared all year as opposed to making up for what we needed to be doing every day.

Third, they can cover up what it means to be truly intimate. I've said in other posts that intimacy in marriage involves way more than sex.  It's closeness of body, soul and spirit. That takes a lifetime to begin, develop, sustain and enjoy. No holiday gifts will come anywhere near that kind of intimacy.

Perhaps this year, in fact, the two of you can talk about ways to increase your intimacy in all three areas.  Set some goals, get rid of some activities that you really don't need to do anymore.  Use that time for each other instead. Marriages usually don't break up because of one hard hit. They erode because of lack of attention over many years.

So, sure, go celebrate with your sweetheart. Do something nice and surprise him or her. But this year make it your goal to start or continue a relationship that has so much love in it all the time that Valentine's Day is just another beautiful rose in the bouquet of your life together.  Hmm . . . where did I put that card?

New Year's: But Not The Same Old, Same Old

So how many New Year's mornings is this for you?  Twenty, thirty, forty or more?  Lots of parties, gatherings with friends, celebrations, fireworks, good food and drink the night before and a nice, quiet start to the year afterwards, right?
Good for you. However, how many times, during the weeks to follow, would you say there was some significant change in your life? How many of those resolutions you made really took root and flowered in you?

My hunch is there weren't that many. And while there's nothing magical about starting something new in January perhaps it's worth thinking about why we don't move forward and the dangers of just staying put.

I think one of the biggest problems is not that we don't take some great leap ahead, but that we never get started. But think of it like climbing a mountain. If you just look at the summit, the biggest part of the goal, you'll never get anywhere. That's what a lot of people do with New Year's resolutions. They decide to finally lose sixty pounds but never take the first step toward shedding three.

They determine to finally look for a job that they love or feel called to and then never send out one resume. The summit is just too daunting.

So, the answer?  Start with just ONE fundamental change that you plan to stick with for three months. If you're going to start working out, make that change something like walking for a half - hour five days a week always at the same time. Do it religiously. Don't let anyone stop you if possible. At least have it become such a habit that if you miss a day, you will go right back to it.

If you plan to slow down your life and spend more time with your wife and kids, start putting that afternoon or evening in your week that you are going to commit to be home. Get it on your calendar and hold to it. It's a small change but it's a fundamental one and will start to etch a new way of living and thinking into your lifestyle.

Do it for three months without adding or subtracting anything. Then evaluate and starting raising your goals and objectives to a higher level. Before long your habit will have become a lifestyle and bigger gains will come more quickly.

And come next year, you'll look back and say, "Yes, resolutions can be more than just talk. And I really did make it to the summit."

What Are We Teaching Our Kids About "Stuff?"

It has become known as Black Friday. It's the day after Thanksgiving when so many get up in the middle of the night or don't go to bed at all so they can shop for all the sales. For some it's a holiday tradition while for others a chance to seriously save some money. Who knows if they really save anything but that's their sincere goal in many cases.

And frankly, enjoying family time in a fun, unique way or saving a few dollars both have their merits.  But this year a woman in Los Angeles peppered sprayed ten people in line in front of her so she could be first. Another man experiencing a heart attack was walked over. And a lady grabbed as many two-dollar waffle irons as she could as her pants began to slip down off her bottom.

Sure, these are extreme examples. Not everyone who engaged in Black Friday shopping was so rude or crude. But it's worth considering whether we're sending signals to our family that stuff means more to us than it should. While we may not even shop on Thanksgiving weekend, we can still be teaching things about our possessions that will be harmful in the long run. How might we do that?

First, we may have a habit of always wanting one more thing or the next best one. Companies have a way of coming out with new products within months sometimes of the last one. That's fine but do we always have to have the latest one? If so, we teach our kids that appreciating what we have doesn't matter.

Second, we may tend to get things NOW rather than later. We can't wait, we won't settle for keeping the old one and we fear the embarrassment that others will have something that we don't.  If we're not careful we can subtly teach our families that waiting and saving are not that important. In fact, this perspective can lead to significant credit card debt and overspending.

Third, we may simply talk more about getting than giving. We may help out our token charity, give to the church or serve once a year but giving to others isn't a regular part of our home life.

You get the idea. We don't have to be a Black Friday fanatic or do something wildly absurd or unkind to send all the wrong messages. We teach our families by what we do the most and how we live our lives from day to day.

You want to teach your family members how to keep your "stuff" in perspective? Live your life in a way that it wouldn't matter that much if you lost it all.

A Different Kind of Christmas For Your Family

I'll bet you're already envisioning what Christmas will be like at your house. Perhaps it will include a  service somewhere, family gatherings, a special breakfast, gifts under the tree, visits to local lighting displays and lots of great food.

You probably have other special traditions that are unique to your family and all those things are good and right to enjoy. Christmas should be a time of celebration, joy and family.

However, what might it be like if we allowed Christmas to take a significant turn in our home and we did something radically different? What if we made it a day more of giving than getting? What if we did one of the simplest, yet most memorable holidays yet?

A few suggestions.  First, think about purchasing a gift that keeps on giving. World Vision and other agencies have catalogues where you can buy an animal, for example, that would help keep on feeding a family in another country. Their brochure or website is usually full of ideas from small to large that are difference makers and would model for your children what it means to really sacrifice for someone else.

You  can invite your children to be a part of the decision making process, too, and have lots of fun picking out just the right gift. You can also get more information about who you will be helping plus follow up later.

Second, think about only giving each other one or two gifts this year. Explain that you're going to use the money you save to help others or you want to just simplify the day and focus on its real meaning. Another option is to just limit the amount you spend on each other but see who can get the most for the money.

Third, read the Christmas story together and/or watch a video that will help you think about Christmas as a family. Even in Christian homes the actually story of Jesus' birth can get lost in all the busyness that we allow to crowd into our homes. You can count on the TV networks to only show holiday movies that get no deeper than dreams, trees, smiles and snowmen. Give your family better.

Fourth, go serve others somewhere on Christmas Day. There are usually nursing homes, shelters and homeless camps who would love to have a family like yours come and spend a part of the day with them volunteering or just talking to people. Or if you're willing to consider bigger ideas use your holiday time off to do a missions trip.

You can no doubt come up with many more ideas but think about making this the most unique kind of Christmas ever. I know your family will never be the same and you'll have memory that you will talk about for a long time.

Things Worth Re-Gifting At Your House

OK, so we've all done it. We've taken a gift given to us by someone else that we really didn't want and then passed it on to someone else later, right?  If we're honest, yes, that was a kind of cheap and lazy move for the most part.

However, there are some things we have been given in life that we would be wise to pass on, especially to our kids, that they can take with them as well.  And yet, some of us aren't terribly intentional about that sort of re-gifting  so think about some of the following challenges.

First of all, be sure to re-gift your faith. That would seem obvious if you are a fairly religious, church-going family but it's not. Many people expect the church or Christian school to do the bulk of their modeling and teaching about what it means to follow Christ. And yet the Bible clearly suggests that parents are to be the principle teachers when it comes to helping our kids know, love and serve God.  See the Old Testament, the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 6.

Second, re-gift the importance of hard work. We live in an entitlement culture where so many comforts and things to make life easier are at our fingertips all the time. Many in our educational systems want to merely level the playing field and make sure that no one feels bad or loses. But in reality anything that's good or worth having will require diligence and sacrifice. Teach and model that kind of ethic in your home. Make sure children and teens appropriately help with chores and family needs even if they're active in school and extracurricular activities.

Third, re-gift the specialness of family. We only get so much time with each other. Make sure it's not all taken up with personal activities, lessons, games and media. Those things all have their place but we need to have time to just enjoy each other and learn to love better. Take inventory on this one, slow down and don't pre-program every moment of your family's life.When's the last time you were all together just to have fun, for a vacation, or to do something truly spontaneous?

Finally, re-gift a thankful heart.  While we may seem to have much or little we're all wonderfully blessed.  Even in the middle of hardship there's much to be thankful for.  Model that you don't always need one more, or the new version, or the same thing they have next door to be happy.  Learn to make do a little more and to wait until next year some of the time. Regularly ask your spouse and kids to share something they are thankful for and then tell God about those things.

Some gifts are worth wrapping up and passing along even if you've seen them before.  I've shared a few.  What are your ideas?

Make Christmas Extra Special At Home This Year

Does it seem like Christmas shows up all-of-a-sudden each year? In July it seems like it's a long way off but once fall arrives the holidays come rolling towards us with a rush, don't they? And if you're like most people, the Christmas season can easily suck the life and energy out of you rather than being an enjoyable, celebratory time to remember Christ's birth.

So while we're still a few weeks away, let me make a couple of suggestions to help you in your marriage and family perhaps make Christmas a little more special and meaningful this year. First of all, break a few traditions. Yes, break them. Do something a little bit different. If you always tend to travel think about staying home. If you always open gifts at a certain time change it up. Sometimes when we do something a little differently it means more and we remember it longer.

Second, give more away and keep less. What if you took a part of your Christmas giving resources and gave them away as a couple or family? That could take lots of forms from working through a local agency to helping out a particular family. What if your Christmas shopping this year involved you going to the store and spending most of your money on others instead of yourself? What a great lesson to teach your children that Christmas is more about giving than taking.

Some agencies like World Vision even offer gift booklets that allow you to give money to buy a large ongoing gift for someone in a third-world country that they could use year round such as an animal to provide milk or a well that would give water. What if you and your kids went through their ideas and picked something that you would together give?

Third, tell the Christmas story in a meaningful way. Read it from the Scriptures, act it out as a family, or watch a movie. Talk about what it must have been like for Mary and Joseph to face the circumstances of their new baby being born in a manger in a barn or cave. Sing some Christmas carols together, too, and perhaps serve some goodies to top off the evening.

Fourth, make some cookies or other simple gifts to give to your neighbors just for fun. We used to go and carol for our neighbors with our two little kids and then offer them a plate of cookies.

Fifth, totally go away somewhere and forget the regular Christmas rush. If you don't normally travel this will be more fun. Take your resources, give some away, and then put the rest toward one trip somewhere and skip all the gift-giving. Just enjoy being together.

There are lots of other creative ideas out there. In fact, if you have some put them at the end of this post for others to see.

Let's face it, most of the world around us has stolen the real Christmas from us. They want the season, the lights, the trees, even the name but they've left Jesus out. It's more about what people can get rather than what they can give. And they've forgotten that God gave the greatest gift in all of history to the world on that first Christmas, Jesus, His son, born in a manger so that he could ultimately die for us.

Don't let the real story get lost this year. If anything, help it come alive by making your Christmas unique, special and full of meaning this year. Merry Christmas!